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Just For Laughs! Got a story to tell that tickles the funny bone? Heard a REALLY good joke? How about sharing those stories here with us? |
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12-27-2008, 07:53 PM
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#1
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Paisley, Florida
Posts: 165
Name :
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smart ass answers 08
The Best Smart Ass Answers of 2008
SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.
'SMART ASS ANSWER #4 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.
'SMART ASS ANSWER #3 The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.
'SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008 !! A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
'A BONUS EXTRA A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect
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12-27-2008, 10:27 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Me ,FL,
Posts: 1,669
Name :
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Very good.
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12-27-2008, 10:43 PM
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#3
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Vicious Evil Person
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Seffner - Tampa
Posts: 1,730
Name :
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__________________
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Website
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12-28-2008, 09:26 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Bradenton, Fl.
Posts: 2,363
Name :
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Great stuff.
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12-28-2008, 11:29 AM
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#5
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!ereH nI depparT m'I pleH
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: 25 miles south of Boston, MA. Also have a house in Dunedin FL.
Posts: 1,927
Name : Andy Anderson
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silverback
The Best Smart Ass Answers of 2008
'A BONUS EXTRA A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect
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He N-E-V-E-R heard the shot !!!!
Andy
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12-28-2008, 08:01 PM
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#6
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Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: JAX FL
Posts: 891
Name : Bob Fletcher
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12-28-2008, 09:13 PM
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#7
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Corvette,GM Classic Freak
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Vero Beach FL/Old Fort NC
Posts: 1,052
Name : I'm Not Post'n in BOI
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__________________
junk!!
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12-29-2008, 09:55 AM
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#8
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!ereH nI depparT m'I pleH
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: 25 miles south of Boston, MA. Also have a house in Dunedin FL.
Posts: 1,927
Name : Andy Anderson
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gmjunkie
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I've been informed (by usually reliable sources) that HER side of the story is that you said "Honey, I sure would like to get into your pants", to which she replied "Why?" You then replied "Because when you first agreed to dance with me, I crapped mine!"
Happy New Year Junk!
Andy
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